In Hindsight

I have thought about writing about this topic in the past but have shied away from in in fear of judgement. However, after Professor McKinney’s encouraging message in class on Monday, I have decided to bite the bullet and go for it. When I was a junior in high school, I was invited to be a Birmingham Belle. This was a pretty big deal to me—it signified that I was seen as someone who a selection committee felt was worthy of receiving an invitation. I had watched girls in the grades above me receive their invitations and had waited anxiously to receive mine, so when I did, I was ecstatic. Being a Belle entailed having an antebellum-style dress made, being presented, and completing service hours. At the time, I thought absolutely nothing of it. I was thrilled to get to wear a custom dress, curl my hair, and take cute pictures with my friends.

            However, since then, I have done a lot of thinking about what the Birmingham Belles signifies. We were presented at the Arlington Mansion in Birmingham, which is the only antebellum house left standing in Birmingham post-Civil War. The house is situated right in the middle of a low-income, minority neighborhood. At the time, there were no black Birmingham Belles; all of the families in attendance were white and the individuals who were serving refreshments were black. Thinking back, I can only imagine how it looked to the local residents for me to waltz onto this immaculate property in my antebellum dress.

            In hindsight, I can see that I participated in a group that perpetuated racism in Birmingham. At the time, though I attended a very diverse, public high school, I don’t think I had the education I needed to consider the implications that events such as the Belle presentation had. I learned about the Civil Rights movement and slavery in history classes, but as we have discussed in class, these lessons were portrayed as moments in history, rather than battles that we are still fighting today. From time to time, I feel ashamed for being a Belle and in having conversations with my sister, I know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I have been processing through the ways I can turn my occasional feelings of guilt into action. That being said, I am so thankful that classes such as this one at Rhodes have helped me to process through the ways in which my version of reality differ from those around me and about the ways I can take part in the fight for justice and equality.